When I started my blog a couple of years ago, it wasn't as a means of keeping my family up to date on our activities, or recording our family history. It wasn't to let my friends know what was going on or to get to know people. It was simply a way for me to do something I have always loved to do: write. At the time, I didn't care how many people read my blog, or what they thought. In fact, I didn't even turn on the "comment" function because I honestly didn't WANT to know what they thought (in case they hated it!).
At the time, I was struggling with pretty severe post-partum depression. Our second child was only a few weeks old and I was having trouble making it through each day. My husband would leave for work and I would get horrible panic attacks, my heart pounding with fear at the thought of another day dealing with a very active toddler and a very fussy baby who wanted me to hold him all the time and who screamed the entire duration of every car trip, no matter where we went, thanks to the fact that he hated his car seat. Needless to say, we didn't go too many places.
Writing became a wonderful outlet for me. I never wrote anything about my post-partum depression. It was too depressing! Instead, I wrote funny things about my toddler, anything to take my mind off the pit I felt I was in.
Thankfully, my post-partum depression gradually went away after a few months. I didn't end up having to take any medication, but I did see a wonderful psychiatric nurse who helped me with some coping strategies and encouraged me that I wasn't crazy.
My kids will soon turn 5 and 3. Those dark days seem so long ago. I look back on those days thankful that they are over and that I did indeed survive. I wake up each morning now, wishing for a little more sleep but happy to be a mom to these two precious little people.
Poor little guy...this is what happens when you have an older sister who thinks it would be fun to dress you in her Halloween costume from last year.
Proud of her work!
Michael, enjoying his snack with our dear friend Miss Irene.
Eating cotton candy at the county fair.
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6 comments:
I'm so glad you decided to start a blog for yourself and that the challenging time surrounding that is now a memory, not a reality. It's neat that God turned that difficulty for you into a blessing for all of us who read your blog and get a glimpse of your humor, your wisdom and those cute kids of yours! I think this is what it means in the Bible when it says that our difficulties in life prepare us to minister to others (total paraphrase!).
Thank God those days are indeed over! Your joy in mothering today is such an inspiration to me - the thought of having another baby still brings back those panic feelings that I am too familiar with... But your example shows me that it's all worth it and possible to do again...
And the other good thing about your experience is that you started blogging! I for one LOVE your blog and look forward to reading your posts each week! So keep using the gift of writing that God has given you; many of us our so blessed by it!
I think it's typical of your can-do personality that you responded to a dark time by finding a way to be creative and positive. That wouldn't work for everyone, and I know you sought medical help, too. But it's a really solid thing to choose, and like the others I love this blog. So thanks.
You have no idea how God just used your post to pound me over the head. He's been trying to tell me something for about 2 weeks and I've been resisting it. Your post is approximately #8 in a line of different ways that He has been trying to get His point across. This time I think He's saying, "How much clearer do I have to be?" Thanks for your vulnerability and for being willing to share this. Someday maybe I'll explain in more detail.
thank you for this post. I think it was something I really needed to hear. I myself am going through the period where watching my husband leave in the morning makes me want to cry. How will I make it through the day without him here? You give me hope!
Hey! Love the pic of Michael dressed up like ballerina! Judith
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