The Only White Person At The Party

(On an unrelated side note, we started homeschooling! Click here to read about how our first day went.)

One of the things I appreciate most about being married to an African-American man is the experience of attending family functions and being the only white person there.

Honestly, I think it's an experience all white people should have. It's a good reminder of how it feels for people of color to be in all-white settings. Although it's not really a new experience for me -- I grew up for 14 years in Africa and many times was the only white person in a group setting -- it's not too often that I have this experience here in America.

But apart from all of this, these experiences fill me with tremendous gratitude for the wonderfully accepting family I have married into.

This weekend, our family attended a retirement party for the husband of Mike's "Cousin Betty." There were probably 40 people there, and I was the only white person in attendance.

I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable in any way. No, this wonderful group of people (some of whom I had never met) treated me just like a member of the family. In fact, Cousin Betty introduced me to her husband's family as "my cousin Kristen." All it took was one glance to confirm I wasn't actually her cousin, but my husband is, and it touched me that instead of calling me "Mike's wife," she introduced me as her cousin.

The other thing I appreciate so much is that no one in Mike's family censors their conversation when I'm around. For instance, Mike's mom and another older woman were talking about black youth today (Mike's mom is in her 80s and works 5 days a week at a youth program).

Mike's mom laughed and said, "It was so different in my day. Back then, our parents told us we had to be twice as good as white people just to keep our job." The other woman nodded her head and murmured in agreement.

As I reflected on the conversation in the car on the way home, I told Mike, "I'm so glad that your mom can openly talk about her life as a black person and not have to skirt around the reality of racism just because I'm there."

I believe honesty is critical in interracial relationships. If people don't feel like they can talk about their experiences of race, the relationship won't grow very deep. I'm so thankful my mother-in-law and other family members trust me enough to be honest and be real.

I'm also thankful that my children have the opportunity to be in an all-Black environment. I want them to feel pride that they come from a long line of amazing African-Americans who have overcome so much and have created successful lives for themselves and their children. And who make me feel like family, not like the only white person at the party.

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Enjoying a snack!

The two Michaels wash the car.

Miss Irene with a bunch of wonderful Barbie accessories that her daughter Magda picked up for the kids from a friend who was giving them away. Thank you Miss Irene and Miss Magda!!!